Going crazy!

RAR!!!!
going mad from mugging...
nothing seems to be going in...
=( =( =(

*sighs*

how to study efficiently and retain all the info in my head??

*borrow a word from my jie fu...*

it's a bloody lot of things to remember lah!!!

rar rar rar!!!!!!

My elder brother...

i guess my frens ard me will seldom hear me talk about my elder brother...
most of the time i will only talk about my elder sister...

i guess that's becos i am not close to him...
sometimes i can say i even dun like him...

cos he can be so inconsiderate...
doesn't switch off lights after he use them...
smokes n smokes n smokes such tat we have to endure the cigarette stench...
doesn't care to give my mom rides to places she needs to go to even thou he is just lazing ard at home...
and the list can go on and on...

but it wasn't like this when we were young...
when we were young kids...
he was my playmate...
and we were quite close...
we would play nintendo tog... even play soccer cos he pestered me to...
he will cheat me to go downstairs to buy ice cream from the uncle every afternoon.. and i was willing to go cos he will treat me ice cream...

i can't remember when we drifted apart...
was it when he went to his sec. sch?
when we stopped playing tog?
when he wasn't home when the ice cream uncle came?
when he started to smoke?
really can't rem le...

nowadays we dun talk much to each other...
maybe a line or none when i go home on weekends...
or when he needs help from me...
sad isn't it??

miraculously...
he msn-ed me just now for the 1st time...
i tot he wanted to ask me for some help again...
but he didn't... he just wished me good luck for my exams...
he told me to work hard... told me to jiayou...
i was suddenly overwhelmed by alot of feelings...
i was gan dong-ed even thou it was a simple wishing from him...

but it wasn't simple cos it was from him...
the first time...

how many times have i said something like this to him?
none... guilty to say this.. but true... none...
so i cried...
and cried until my tissue box is empty.. sorry to earth but ya.. i used alot of tissues... tap cant stop flowing...

when he was so emotionally distraught...
i din provide any emotional support to him...
all these years he didn't tok to me... to us...
was it becos he didn't know what to say anymore?
cos we always seem so pre-occupied with our own things...
i just shrug him off whenever he tried to talk abit of those nonsensical stuff with me...
i just saw his bad side...
did i even try to understand why? i didn't...

now i reflect on this...
i tink i am a bad sister...

he wont get to see this..
but i am sorry...
for being an awful younger sister...
i will try to improve...
even thou i know we wont be bac to as close as we were when we were young...
i will try to be a better sister ba...
even thou i'm not sure wat i can do...
just try ba... =)

study makes me bored...

over the weekend, my jiejie n jiefu bot yummlious cake back!!

Awfully chocolate chocolate cake!!!

The most sinful thing ever... but it's soooooo delicious!!
chocolatey without being over~

the cake is moist n soft n simpy~~~ ooohh~~

irresistable! !

the sian look~ =X

wo bu yao du shu~~~

i am lagging alrdy!

muz buck up..motivation on fri!

*ten days alrdy ooo~*

Went for interview on monday with adeZ..

dun tink we will get the job..

cos timing cannot match la...

main thing was..

i wore my new shoes...

and i got my feet blistered all over!!

they are the hugest blisters i have ever seen and i have no idea when they are going to heal... boohoo!

dun tink i can go jogging with them? *excuse to not jog* =X

nxt time i wear this pair of heels.. i'm going to paste plasters all over my feet! =X

ohoh.. to all those examing at the moment...

all the bestest of luck!!

"A"s are waiting for u!

this is so true...

Missing someone gets easier everyday.

Because, even though it is one day further from the last time you saw each other,

it is one day closer to the next time you will…

Future...

Today was the last lecture for pk...
and there were 2 guest lecturers toking abt their jobs today instead of just the regular lectures that we have...

I wasn't really paying any attention to them even thou it was said that this lecture would be tested in exam as well...*dunnoe real or fake* =P

anyway... the thing is...
i am starting to get worried for my future...
it looks really bleak lo...
cos i have no idea what i wan to do!

hmmm...
i can say i enjoyed my preceptorship last year...
cos i felt that i could apply what i learnt in class....
and the satisfaction i get from being able to help ppl feels good...
but becoming a retail pharmacist?
hmmm.. i have my reservations...
wat if they juz throw me to some ulu outlet tat nobody comes for the pharmacist? den i do nothing? i will be sooooo sian...
work environment wise also not my ideal type...
another practical consideration is the pay of cos...

i can't say anything abt working in a hospital yet cos have to wait until after this coming hols ba... after attachment...

i know i'm not interested in research...
cos i dun like reading journal research articles...
i dun like to look at the graphs and all the complicated data...
*super bad at those stuff*
which also rules out anything associated with pk.. like clinical trials etc...

sales is really not my cup of tea...
cos i cannot talk! haha..
i mean i'm not good at selling stuff to ppl...
lousy conversational skills...

industry to me is a very vague term...
i'm still not really sure about the various paths in pharm industry...
like wat exactly are they doing?
maybe can find out from yj they all after they complete their attachment...

something totally not related to pharm?
hmmm... it is a possibility but the odds are super low...
not making use of my degree... hmmm...
i dun really see that happening..
unless it's something like starting your own biz which i have no idea and skill for...
i tink it's really quite tough plus u need the capital to begin with...

so... yalo...
quite worried suddenly...
alrdy a year 3 student...
only 1 more year to graduation!
... ... ...

I told adez n yj abt it during pk class on mon…
Haha.. adez reaction so funnie…
Yj also lo.. she shake hand w me to congratulate me.. haha…
They wanted photos… haha… which I din have!
Cos we din take any…=X

went out for dinner after his interview on tue…
As usual… he made me decide on e place to eat… =P
Initially we tot we will only be able to meet 1 month later de…
Cos both busy with exams lo… =S
But yeah! It was happy to meet up again~!!

During dinner I was thinking of wat yj, ade n me were toking abt during our break…
They were saying that one of their frens will hold hand with the bf while eating throughout e whole meal… which makes them both handicap…how to eat properly like tat… it’s so funnie imagining tat scene…haha…

Then, due to popular demand…
we decided to take photos using hp…
Muahaha.. but it was ugly~ =X
Nxt time muz take better ones!

He seemed to keep reminding me tat he will treat me badly in e future…
N kept toking abt his bad pts…
ohoh! N his gay partner… =X
Hmmm… haha… yalo…
我上了贼船了。。。

*tink I really wasted ur day away leh… =(
Hope it wont affect ur schedule much k…
Jiayou jiayou jiayou!!!
Nxt up: 25th~ =)

**after exams…
9th : bert bday + packing
10th: pharms gals bday + moving??
11th: Mom’s day + moving??
12th: start work
=X

有一个男人，
严格来说我认识了他有八年了。

以前我觉得他是一个怪怪的学长，
因为我们认识的方法也怪怪的。=P

从来没想过会有这样的开始。

楼梯和我。。。
一起咯!
=）

Have been lazy to update… =P

On sat went out w e girls to celebrate hx’s bday early as requested cos her bday v near to her papers…
We went to this jap restaurant at central which serves delicious ramen!
Yummy! But v v v salty, so had to keep drinking water after tat…
Heard it was recommended by 933… really not bad… =)
Food aside, we also tried to kai dao cch abt her work probs…
She is really a v responsible worker!!
So 尽责 until so felt so miserable abt it…
I tink it shld be resolved by now? Hope it was a happy ending!
So to distract her from her work stuff…
we kept crapping… making up nicknames for ppl…Gossiping… haha… =P
I tink we succeeded alittle? =)

*ohoh! We saw cao guo hui w his pretty gf! He is shuai de lo…
Tsk tsk… so match match n loving~ ^^

Den it was mugging mugging mugging…
So boring…
All the pk concepts that I still cannot fully grasp despite reading dunnoe how many times…
It juz refuse to go into my head la…
Dunnoe for exams how… =(
Awful module!!

Today after e quiz me n adez juz were so demoralized la…
To comfort ourselves, we juz walk out of the lt to buy drinks..
Actually we were carving for icecream…
But sci dun sell icecream!!
So I bot coke instead… n she bot vitasoy… (needed e sugar~ even thou it’s unhealthy.. =P)

Went bac into lt n nua while e presentation started…
N we suddenly realize we were surrounded by ppl who started to copy notes for e nxt quiz on fri! *faintz* while we were still nua-ing~ omg~
i tink we r aliens.. haha… just dun feel like doing any work!
den dunnoe when she started calling e others in our class “stupid smart ppl”...
which sounded weird.. but haha.. we juz continue using e term…

den we were told by sh tat our grp ppl calls us A&W~
muahahah!! So funnie!
Den we even came up w actions for it.. *too bored alrdy* hahah.. damn lame la…
her icon is curly fries… my icon is root beer float… (the 2 types of a&w food tat we missed e most~)
So we spent the day performing the actions for various ppl…
I tink we r crazy ppl lo…
But it kept us entertained.. hehe…

Whole day was full of rubbishes la…
like the 绯闻男女in class…
Dressing of other ppl…
Lecturers…
We r evil de… haha…
If there were a module on crapping…
We will ace it… confirm…
Haha…

*thx for entertaining my whinings n complains e whole morning! =)

Sweet-ness

Yea! Today we ended another test… =)
But there r still 2 more to go…
So muz cont to gambate! =)

Wed was a happy mugging day~
Cos got ppl pei… haha…
谢谢你特地跑来 nus…
Helped me q a lot cos I wasn’t allowed to use e comp…
If I had possession of lappie..
Den I wouldn’t have been as efficient w my mugging…

Mr bad guy…
Stop ur evil tots… =P
Be more careful ba…
(say I clumsy.. u also clumsy lo..)

对不起。。。
再等多一下下，好吗？
我是很慢的。

April's fool~

april's fool day was a test day for me...
1 test down.. 2 more to go... =X

sh sent me a april's fool sms yesterday...
she said she initially wanted to trick me.. but didn't..
haha... tink i mite have fallen for e trick as well..
so lucky she din wan to trick me.. =P

so i sent it to 3 ppl..
1st person fell for e trick n called me...
i tink partly cos it was cos of some factors tat caused him to be so jing zhang abt e sms.. =X (shldn't have sent it to him actualli.. sorry...)
when he realised he had been tricked...
he tricked me bac.. haha..
i tink i'm too ben ben to trick ppl lo...

2nd person sms me bac..
apparant he din get tricked...
n said i shldn't trick kind ppl..
muahahah...

3rd person ignored me.. bleah!

haha.. yup..
happy april's fool!

wed n thurs r free dayss for me!!
so happy!! =) but muz use the days to mug thou..
gambate!

Ta-da!!

On Thursday I went out for lunch with Hans...
We went to some apparently famous yu pian mi fen at some west coast kopitiam…
It was really not bad…but I wasn’t hungry…
So he had most of the huge bowl of mi fen… =P
And we toked over lunch about some stuff that I got to know of…
Which is q a headache n a difficult thing to settle…
Basically the conclusion to the conversation was no conclusion…
Yup… so mr hans… u go n fan xing fan xing.. hehe.. =P
Thx for driving me to class after tat… =)
N stop blaming me for ur lack of the sense of direction!
Haha… u urself is the blur one…

Friday was e ‘ta-da!’ day…
Essentially the ta-da part was at nite la…
Hmmm… I was still surprised even thou I kind of expected it…
Nothing’s confirmed yet…
Loads of tot processes…
I’m sorry if my reaction was bad/weird/inappropriate…
There were too many things going on in my head…
To be truthful I was q blank at a pt of time…
Tat could explain for my sian-ness tat u tot I was feeling…
In fact, I was happy last nite… *smilez**smilez**smilez*
The most impt part is: Thx for being understanding… =)

Anyhow... Randomly...

There’s 5 more weeks to exams..
4 more days to my testsss…
So I shld start to focus!

Of cos there shld be time for breaks…
So I’m going to try to work hard for the times tat i’m not meeting anybody..
Den when I do go out… I can really enjoy myself…

Shld start to get over my nua self…
Had a bad dream yesterday…
I went online to check my results…
N I realise I got all Ds for my final exams…
super horror…
N the online system had some screw up which deteriorated my lousy results further…
Until I had some Fs…
Horror-est of horror…
N then my alarm rang… fortunately… =)
I tink it’s a sign to tell me to work harder… haha..

On Tuesday I received choco from my angel!
Haha.. even thou e game is over he still give me choco..
=) he said he got chocos for ppl who r nice to him…
He’s e nice one la.. thx!

I tested my hba1c on tue practical..
I am normal de! =) saved myself $30.. haha…
n becos e bld glucose meter dunnoe had wat prob w me, I had to prick n reprick my finger twice before I could get an error-free results.. which show tat I’m normal too.. =) healthy!!

i dropped my phone on e floor yesterday…
*heartpain*
1st time my precious phone fell…
Hai hao ta mei shi! =S

N I juz knocked my knee onto e metal bar of my chair…
Super pain de…
I foresee a huge blue black… =(

Long Vacation - What will i do

nice song i heard from radio today... =)

This long weekend...

蛮多事情发生了。
所以感想也跟着多了。

有好多好多的方面要考虑。
事情原来并不是那么简单的。
人与人之间好复杂。
不想去理。
能单纯多好。

可能是我想得太多了。
顾虑得太多。
但是我不能不去理那一切的一切。

其实我蛮害怕的。
突然觉得好恐怖。
=P

复杂。
混乱。

我不会解决的事，
我只会让它顺其自然。

Photos!!

pix from amplitude, present shopping n gd fri~

My Good Friday…

My good Friday was spent with my 2 different grps of frens…
The purpose was the same : to celebrate their belated bdays… =)

In e morn met w my gd jie meis… cch n hx…
Long time no meet them le!
I tink I really ai them…
Cos they r really nice n funnie n understanding ppl.. =)
Going out w them I can say wat I wan n juz spill out everything that I wan to…
They always give gd advice also.. haha.. =)
Thx for listening to my stories!!
I enjoyed listening to their updates too… =)
I feel like our lives r now so different…
Cch alrdy working v hard…
Hx alrdy in her final yr.. looking for job opportunities n stuff…
Me.. still a clueless yr 3 pharm student w no ambitions.. haha..

N we kept going to e electronics shop today..
cch bot a mini hifi… hx bot a digicam.. ( I tink both r gd deals!)
n in total we went to e same shop for 3-4 times…
until e uncle c us from afar will alrdy smile at us..
even gave us each a photo of us tat was developed from his photo printer n also his name card…haha.. I tink he is a nice uncle.. =)

kopi club has kopi tat’s too sweet.. =X
but e environment is v nice thou.. =)
gd for nua-ing n chatting..
I love e chair!! So comfy! Wan to bring it bac to hall! Haha..

In e evening met up w sh, pj, bert, hans for dinner at a place called friends…
=) q like e atmosphere there…
Food may be abit exp thou… =)

I tink today…
A lot of tot processes went on in my tiny head…
Abit overwhelmed…
Confusion… sadness… it’s juz all mixed tog now…
N I’m feeling a state of blankness?
Maybe I’m juz blocking out all e emotions…
Abit chim.. but I guess it’s e way my system works…

I tink I can quite get selfish at times…
During e times when I’m happy… someone else may be troubled?
When I dun even know wat I’m tinking at times… being so undecided n blur n whatever… am I hurting some ppl?
I guess I also can be a v bad person…
Always complaining abt ppl like jrm…
But I never jian tao myself…
It can be so difficult sometimes…

Like wat I told ylp…
Zibi is good sometimes… =)

But not too zibi.. cos actually…
I tink I need support a lot of times…

*photos another time...
i'm q tired...*

Long weekend!

Yesterday nite I went jogging w hans…
Haha.. amazingly la..
So stress lo…
Cos I am super slow tat type… den ppl is e duan pao jian jiang can…
Hahah… I tink he run damn slow to pei he wo…
So xing ku him…
We ran for like ½ hr… by tat time I’m panting like dunnoe wat alrdy…
Q long time since I ran for this long alrdy…
*lao ren jia*

Today was q a fa feng day…
Cos we had to do e urine expt.. which was real stinko…
Cannot take it.. e ammonia smell from e chemicals is super er xin… =X
N I tink adez is rather high today…
So we were sprouting nonsense e whole day la.. like stuff abt e south park episode.. abt e umbrella song.. muahahaha…
N she xian qi me watch Alvin n e chipmunks.. =P
N me n yj were trying to find her a suitable guy in pharm..
Trying to recommend Alvin to her.. but apparently..dotz.. haha..
Yup.. we were really nonsenseful today~~
Tink she is really q a fun person to be with.. haha.. full of nonsense n high also.. =P

Today I also met gor for dinner at engine fac..
Had my yummy hotplate as always!!
Haha.. something v funnie happen..
Cos gor din noe wat to eat.. n he finally decided to have hot plate but wanted to change e teriyaki chicken to cutlet.. but dunnoe can or not.. so he ask me to ask e uncle…
So I juz ask uncle: uncle, can change teriyaki chicken to cutlet?
Uncle: cooking alrdy… nxt time den change can?
Me: nono.. uncle.. I wan to add 1 more order..
Uncle: oorh…. Can can… *shouts order to kitchen* so u pay together or separate?
Me: *looks at gor, looks at uncle*
pay tog…
*hands ten dollar note to uncle*
Uncle: wah.. *looks at gor* u v lucky arh… she order for u… pay for u also.. this type of gal where to find..
Gor: haha.. find in nus pharmacy lo…
Uncle: hahaha. *v happy* wah.. ur reaction v fast arh~
*2 guys queuing in front of us try v hard not to laugh*

Muahaha.. I tink it’s super funnie de…
Tink e uncle like my gor alrdy.. heheh…
After dinner gor’s fren’s lao gong drive us bac to hall.. haha…
E guan xi like spread to v far~~
But ya.. thx for e comfy ride bac! =)

So we proceeded as planned.. watched e chipmunks on his lappie…
Finally watched it.. loves thedore!
He is sooooo sweet.. n soooo ke ai.. haha..

After e movie.. I got convinced by gor to go home tonite…
Haha… so I dragged all my heavy stuff home by myself…
So ke lianly la.. =P
But ya.. shall not complain abt it again.. q boring stuff…
=) happy holidays ppl!!
Have a gd rest n also be productive k!
Esp for ppl who have to hand in reports v v soon~~ =P

Blurrrr~

Yup... i have been v blur lately... =X
first of all...
i left my clothes at ucc after my amplitude performance..
n i din even realise it long after i reach my room n did alot of other stuff...
had to trouble ppl to help me bring bac... =X
thx loads to those involved! haha..

the performance turned out q oki i guess..
after singing e pasigin song over n over n over again before our our performance.. we finally rem most of e lyrics.. n managed to catch e rite key.. even thou there was a minor prob at e v beginning.. but luckily we had a perfect pitch in our choir.. he is li hai!!
=P anyway... so happy it is all over!!!
ohoh.. n i realised tat i am not as fu qian as i tot.. haha.. =P

nxt blur was mon...
i forgot to bring my qian bao to sch...
cos i changed bag.. so i forgot to transfer over..
aiz.. how forgetful can i get...
but luckily i stuffed $$ everywhere..
so i realised i still have $5 in my hp pouch..
so i was saved... =)

e final blur was also mon..
when i juz scalded my right hand...
ya.. all my fingers...
while i was trying to prepare my ovaltine drink..
cos e dinner was v nan chi...
e boiling hot water juz spill all over my hand.. =(
so very very painful...
soaked my hand in dunnoe how many cups of cold water...
den finally realised i have e wan neng mopiko which can be applied for burns too!! =) so i applied tat n e pain subsided after tat...
leaving e slight swelling which has by now disappeared..
so my poor hand is now bac to normal.. =)

ya.. i am tat blur n clumsy~~ =X

My horrible week is finalli ending soon…
Yea~~!!

Yest went out w cot for dinner..
At some Indian restaurant to hui wei e ying du feng qing?
Haha.. food wasn’t tat gd thou… choices were v limited also..
After tat was dessert!!! Woohoo…
Desserts were e highlite la… definitely yummy…
But q sad cos I was alrdy q full when we had e dessert.. so abit ying ying sai de gan jue…
Den can’t really appreciate it… but I could sense e choco overload..
Muahaha.. I wan to go there again nxt time!!!
Eat e one tat Edwin had.. *yummilious!*

To be honest…
I was quite surpised yesterday when I learnt abt some stuff…
Even thou I pretended to be normal like I expected it..
Haha.. =X

It is really quite tu ran…
But I guess love is not something we can explain using logic…
It comes when u least expect it…
The most difficult part maybe learning to accept it ba…
But well.. wat matters is u r happy n xing fu! =)

Well.. today was tiring day…
i fell aslp when I lie down on e bed for awhile juz now.. instantaneous…
n it was e unconscious type of nap..
oblivious to everything de lo.. din even hear my alarm…

went sdc…
came bac str to choir…
din even manage to do much work… =(
nxt wk will be time to slow down n start working academically ba..
catching up time!

白色情人节快乐！

今天我知道了。。
原来笨笨是可以聪明的。。。
自以为聪明时，也可以是笨笨的。。。

i can still rem how i got to know about this jie ri...
all happened 2 yrs ago...
haha.. ya.. cos i got choco on that day!
can still rem the exact moment n scene when i know abt this..
hahaha...so ben ben de.. =P
but i think it's a precious memory.. *smilez*

well.. tink some ppl still dunnoe wat this festival is all abt.. =P
go find out! haha.. =)

yup...
so.. happy white v day everybody!
*muacks!*

ps...
y did someone wan to scold someone leh...
really got nothing to do w me?
if not y e someone dun wan to tell me y the other somone wan to scold him?
i'm all messed up~
watever.. since someone dun wan to tell me why..
i guess i can never find out why...
*dun care.. lalala!!
=)